Everywhere we turn, there are messages about sex. No matter what continent you are on, society is inundated with sexual innuendo and outright sexual messages. Even the sidebars of Internet pages are filled with unsolicited "girls, girls, girls". So, it's not like you can say, "I'll just go crawl in a hole and pray until God sends me my mate." We are human which means that sex is not a bad word. I like to feel sexy and sassy even though I'm fully SAVED and sanctified. God made us to be passionate and sexual...but with the caveat that that plays out at its fullest under the blessing of marriage. So until then, let's keep it real...I'm not immune to a nice smellin' man with a pretty smile (come on ladies...don't act like I'm not the only one). At church, we see and hear message after message that just says "don't do it" or "avoid lust". We hear the "shalt nots" of Levitical law, but no one really talks about what that looks like day in and day out when you have a desire to live holy but are in the battle of all battles against your own flesh.
When I came to know the Lord in my 20's, I remember thinking that I had already surpassed the ages of the many chaste examples of 13 year old brides who were "betrothed" right out of their father's houses in the Bible. Put simply, it's difficult to know that you're supposed to wait to have sex until you are married when you're not sure that that will come any time soon. And almost 20 years later, that hasn't gotten any easier. As the years went by, I began to fear that God was trying to send me a message that he'd really been calling me to be a nun and I just couldn't get that message straight. But since I know that's not true, it means that I have to negotiate that space and time between now and my wedding night with HONOR, INTENTION and ACCOUNTABILITY.
At the end of the day, our victory over any of the negative emotions that we've been talking about the last few weeks centers around those three factors. Honor...it means recognizing that you truly do have a desire to apply spiritual principles of sex to your life. You want to honor the Lord and your relationship with him by staying true to his call to "be holy for he is holy" (Leviticus 11:44). So that's the spiritual end of things. But then there's the practical side of intention and follow-through. You have to intentionally set yourself up for success and not failure. If your mind is liable to drift into "vain imaginations" like mine can at times, then perhaps it's not wise to read overtly sexy novels or watch sex-filled shows every day--remembering that the seeds that those things plant are seeds of distraction from that very honor you want to maintain. Maintaining that honor means having follow-through and setting up accountability with people you know will hold you to your goals to honor God. It means doing a lot of things in groups and letting someone know when you're alone. It means not spending every waking moment together in hot embraces that become harder and harder to separate yourself from. It means being honest with someone other than the person you are struggling with that you are in a struggle.
Now, I know we could talk about this for longer than a paragraph, but I'm sure you've heard it all. But maybe today you needed to hear that God's got your back even as it pertains to this hush-hush issue of lust. When he said he'd never leave or forsake you, that didn't exclude times when your mind wanders or your actions don't line up with his will. Don't get me wrong, he wants us to be right. He wants us to live holy. He wants us to be obedient. But he also wants us to know that he'll help us through when we least expect it. The Bible says he'll "provide a way of escape" (1 Corinthians 10:13)...that means the telephone ringing when you're about to get down and dirty (yeah I said it) or the cat tipping over a glass in the other room or your eye suddenly catching sight of the Bible on the top shelf are just small cues to remind you to stop and choose honor over lust and run (do not walk) in the opposite direction.
Today I just wanted to take a moment out and encourage my single brothers and sisters in Christ in what has turned into a sometimes silent struggle. Take courage and talk about what's really going on in your lives--sex included--so that the enemy doesn't have a foothold to get you into bondage. Falls and "slip ups" happen when you live constantly in secret. Choose today to be real with some, trustworthy, equally-focused Christian who can keep you moving in the right direction...towards Christ.
Stay strong and be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea
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