DAY 25: Can't Slay Dragons You Avoid

I slayed a dragon just now.

I know that sounds odd, but it's how I feel. Beyond procrastination and beyond fear was a big ugly dragon called AVOIDANCE. Procrastination is about delaying and putting something off where avoidance tries to prevent it completely. So what I've learned over the years is that I have a bad habit of avoiding things that I don't want to deal with. (It's probably just me. The rest of you face things head on, I know, but bear with me because I'm a work in progress.) Particularly, those things I don't understand...well...it's better left off my radar (not even at the bottom of the "To-Do" list) than where I have to constantly be reminded that there's something or someone I'm avoiding dealing with and that someone is God.

I probably shouldn't admit that. I mean, I'm a minister, a pastor, a prophet of God...and I'm struggling to pray to the Lord?! I call myself a Christian (and truly am). I love God. I get excited about God. I talk about God and encourage people in God. I read about God and listen to God. What kind of sense does that make? None. However, sensible or not, there's been a couple of things (a.k.a. dragons) that I honestly have shut down the lines of communication with Him on. Or at least I had.

But this evening, I faced one of those dragons. This evening, I decided that I would stop not praying about some questions I have. Not praying got me no closer to answers but that has a good and bad side. If you pray...if you ask questions with authenticity and truth then you must be willing and ready to hear answers. And THAT is where my avoidance was birthed. I haven't been afraid really that God would say no about some things. In fact, I think I have gotten used to a "no" or "not now" in some areas of my life. So what happens when in your spirit you feel a shifting and you have a feeling that the answer may actually be "yes"? What's a girl to do!?

Well this girl did the first unhealthy, negative thing I could think to do--took it off the radar and avoided. I checked emails, talked to people, surfed the social sites, made phone calls, wrote blogs...and didn't do the written prayer in my journal that I knew the Lord was calling for specific to this one issue. What's worse, I didn't even know I was doing it until I looked up and realized that I had been eating it up. Instead of facing the Lord, I was facing a plate or a snack. After such great progress in my journey towards health, I began putting that on the line again all in the name of avoidance.

And yes, fear is tied up in this thing. Truly my fear of failure has risen to the top on multiple occasions but what scares me more (and what was at play here) is about that fear of success. Success and yeses mean expectations and responsibilities. Somewhere along the way, I had managed to convince myself that I could not handle either. Somewhere along the way, I'd allowed the enemy to whisper that LIE into my spirit and it stuck...well until today. Today, I faced that dragon. Today, I looked it squarely in the face (after I ate the last snack bar of course) and said DIE because "Greater is He that is in my than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4) Today I decided to heed the scripture that says to "walk in the Spirit, and don't gratify the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). Though that verse truly speaks about sin, I think it's applicable to walk in the spirit and not give in to the desire of my flesh to avoid God.

If what I've written here sounds familiar to you too, then bravo in advance for facing and slaying your dragons. You can't slay them though if you avoid them. And if this is not you...well then pray for us. Either way and most importantly...be encouraged to face GOD head on with boldness or with hesitation. He can take it.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea