I was wondering what I would write about today. Today was a good day. I felt like I handled things fine and that no new negative issues came out of me. I also didn't interact with someone where I saw something negative glaring out at me. Like I said, it was a good day. So I sat down to pray about it and got distracted by instagram. Yes...I allowed the allure of the "you've got mail/notifications" draw my attention. As I ran through some of photos of the day, I stopped at one of a lady in her wedding dress and thought to myself how I could never afford such a beautiful, extravagant dress or gorgeous photographs but wishing deeply that I could. In that small moment of nothingingness the word
ENVY crossed my heart.
Wow! How quickly had I gone from feeling like I was doing good to realizing that, even in my "goodness", I was still not alright. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not about condemnation. I fully understand what it says in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. Finding the roots of negative feelings/emotions/behaviors in my and others' lives is not about pointing fingers or chastising any of us. But what I believe is that words and thoughts have power. So like what happened today, it would have been so easy for me to get fully distracted by that longing for what I feel like I couldn't/don't have (as per the definition of envy). We must remember that what distracts us can also be what delays us. What distracts us can be the thing that holds us back from truly accomplishing what God wants for
us because we are so focused on idolizing the accomplishments and blessings of others.
In fact, the Bible says that envy is one of the "evil things" that "defile a person" (Mark 7:22-23) and that "
envy makes bones rot" (Proverbs 14:30). This is not simply about being jealous and hating on someone else and thinking that you deserve what they have more, but instead coveting what they have and putting your soul in danger of a fate that doesn't seem to appealing to most. I don't know about you, but the thought of being defiled or rotten is simply not a good thing to me. So, when I take a moment to acknowledge these moments of envy, then I can stop it in its tracks. Saying "don't envy" is not saying "don't dream". Instead it's saying that you keep your dreams flowing in the right direction. When envy shows itself, I can commit that desire of my heart to the Lord and hope that my desire lines up with God's. I can ask God to change my heart towards the things that make his heart beat. Most importantly, I can redirect my distracted focus back where it should be--on the Father.
You likely aren't envious of a silly fluffy white dress or the eye of a good photographer capturing "your good side" as I. You may desire more money, a thinner body, a buffer body, a different professional opportunity, a different social opportunity...no matter what your thing is, know that I'm praying with and for you that God would take full control of your focus and full control of your dreams on this day.
Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea
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