If someone asked me how I was feeling right at this moment, I would say "m'eh". I'm neither down nor up, neither energized nor completely exhausted. At this point, how I feel is somewhere in the middle with a somewhat blase and lazy attitude. And, as I sat down to write this evening's devotion, I still could not shake that "ehhhn"/"m'eh" feeling. As I searched my brain for what the Lord was saying, I could only come back with this same apathetic spirit. Then the bells went off in the midst of my "blah" and I realized that therein lies the correction.
You see, this 40 day journey has been about God helping me to recognize the not-so-nice things in me that could stand to be reviewed, processed, and definitely avoided when possible.
Apathy, it would seem, is number eleven on this list.
As I started to really think about it, my conviction grew. How many things have I missed because I was content with being in this mediocre state of mind? How many blessings went by while I was lacking focus? How many opportunities no longer opportune because I was watching something on television or surfing the net? It's not that you want to be emotionally always on highs and lows all of the time. No...that requires medication and has a diagnosis (bipolar and the like). What I'm talking about instead is a disconnect from caring much about what is to come. If I don't care or put on the bravado of disinterest, then I don't have to deal with disappointment or discouragement when things don't happen the way or in the timing that I would like. It's like my emotions have their own power RESET/override button designed to protect my heart, but it's not one that truly honors God. We should be excited about the prospect of what God is doing in our lives and not indifferent. In the process of protecting my heart what this space of apathy does is create room for the enemy to come in with negativity--laziness, doubt and critical thinking about what and how God is handling His (and my) business. I fill the space with lazy distractions to keep me having to really deal with God face-to-face about what I'm thinking or feeling; I begin to doubt that He'll come through on what he's said, and I'll wonder if there's a better way that I can accomplish whatever it is than the way that He originally instructed. Facebook is easier than
FacingGod at times. Reading mindless romance novels is more heartening than focusing on my own social life.
Furthermore, what I know to be true is that the Bible speaks harshly about laziness and references an apathetic spirit as being "lukewarm"--causing the Lord to 'spit us from his mouth'! Apathy and laziness are just that much of an affront to the Lord. So what do you do when they start to sneak into your day? Remember that this is a spiritual battle and use your spiritual tools. Ephesians 6 reminds us that we are in a spiritual war and tells us to put on the whole armor of God, including the sword of the Spirit/the Word of God. Apathy is a scheme of the devil. Period. When we know nothing else to do, we are to use the Word against the wiles of the enemy. You see, it's not about an emotion as much as it's about a mindset. We fight this mindset by energizing ourselves with the mind of Christ and with His Word in a personal way:
Lord, help me shake off sloth and call on your fervent spirit to guide me. (personalized from Romans 12:11) Help me to be strong in You, Lord, and in the power of your might. (personalized from Ephesians 6:10) Redeem the time. (personalized from Ephesians 5:16) Let me do everything with all my might that my hand finds to do. (personalized from Ecclesiastes 9:10) Lord, prepare my mind for action and fix my hope completely on the grace revealed through Jesus Christ (personalized from 1 Peter 1:13). Amen.
Today is the day that you (and I) begin to shake off that "m'eh" feeling. Be encouraged in this day to take back those apathetic moments and give them back over to God.
Blessings,
Pastor Andrea
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