Time to Rest

The other day, I had a conversation with someone and mentioned that I was tired. He asked me if I was sleeping okay. I said yes. Then he stumped me and asked if I was RESTING okay. As a small tear came to my eye, I realized that it had been a long while since I had sustained REST. I do have continual peace. I have taken breaks here and there. But, if I'm being honest with myself, there have not been real sustained periods of rest. And I ruminated on that thought and wondered how I would possibly get that rest with life going forward and ministry being what it is. And THAT started to fatigue me even more...

It wasn't until I remembered that rest may come in space rather than time, that the weight of that fatigue began to lift. I knew that the source of my rest would not be one of long time or extended periods of sleep and vacation. That had become evident. But what was real was that God was and is always able to give me (and you) a refreshing and a rest that exceeds our understanding of how or where it comes from.

For me, God sent me some great quality time with my mother that brought that refreshing and that feeling of REST. At times rest is simply a supernatural blessing that comes out of nowhere. Other times it's the smile of a friend or the hug of a loved one that seems to bring you a charge. Or perhaps it's even simply an hour alone listening to your favorite songs, or a quiet ride in the car, or a small breeze that hits your face just so. If you find yourself at the end of your energy rope, I'm here to remind you that God is ABLE and WILLING to bring you a remedy for your much-needed REST. Truly His Word saying that we can bring ourSELVES (not just our problems) to Him is real. Be encouraged that the Lord knows that one thing that will give you strength, that thing on this earth that seems to breathe extra life into your deflating spirit, and it's waiting with Him just for you.

Day 38: Yep...A Plank In My Eye

I've decided that one of the most pitiful, "something's not right here" sights I've seen in a long while (next to a pretty, well-dressed, grown woman cursing like a sailor) was a grown Christian person pouting the other day because they didn't get their way. They wanted something that a child wanted as well, and the other adults in the room all agreed that the child should have it. So when the child got it, I swear I saw the bottom lip of this grown person begin to tremble. And it wouldn't have been so bad except that today, I caught myself having a conversation with God and making the very same face as I pouted over an unfulfilled prayer request...Ouch...Busted!

Talk about getting convicted! I was so quick to see this person's pout as inappropriate and "not right", but in my own moment of childish splendor I forgot all about my stance with a quickness. How quickly we forget... In my self-righteousness I thought that I had moved past acting like a child. Yet, what I've seen to be true over and over again is that I'm no better than anyone else. And God surely reminds me of this gently every now and again for sure.

I'm a good person for the most part, but not above being duped by self-righteousness and judgement. Truly these character flaws are so slippery. Like many things in my Christian faith, I have come to realize that I've got it down pat when it comes to the big things. I try not to judge people's life decisions, styles, or even their basic decision to become or not become a Christian. All of those are the big things--for which I find myself unfailingly tolerant and patient. But an air of self-righteousness sneaks in when I least expect it and see the small things that I may have "conquered" (or think I have) playing out in those around me. It's that moment when you look at your ex's current love interest (even though you don't want him/her any more) and think that they could've done better with you; or the time you watch another parent fail to get their child to behave in the supermarket line while yours is the picture of obedience (that day/moment). It's the time that we make (what we think are harmless) jokes about people's vocabulary choices; or when you watch the person who got a raise at work make a silly error that you feel you never would have made.

I try my best to not experience these moments. However, just when I think I have it together, God shows me a new example and quickly puts me in my place. It's just like the scripture says, "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (Luke 18:14) Or even like what I've heard preachers say...that if you point your finger at someone, you must be careful because there are three more pointing back at you. We are admonished to deal with our own stuff before worrying about someone else's problems (Matthew 7:3); and today I'm just reminded that that means you have to diligently and daily be looking at yourself so as not to slip idly into that place of judgement.

That said, today's your chance to do a self-check. What have you been watching, thinking, doing that (even in small ways) exalts you over another person? Where have you allowed hints of self-righteousness to show themselves in your life? Today I want to encourage you that those hints don't have to remain. As we walk this Christian journey, we have a new chance each day to commit our negative minds to God, repent and allow the power of the Holy Spirit to convict us each of sin, righteousness, and judgement (John 16:8). So today...take the chance...

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 36: It's A Shame

We all have those things that we hide and don't talk about openly--things that we aren't proud of in our lives and that have varying degrees of impact on how we live day to day. At times, we choose to allow those things and the shame we feel to disconnect us from the rest of the world. That's the point where shame becomes a tricky thing.

You see, shame is not a mystery to God even when it's a mystery to us. In fact, the Bible talks about how it's God that "shames" the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27) or those who are "treacherous" (Psalm 25:3) and there are countless places throughout the Old Testament where shame is attributed to those who do evil things or are living contrary to God's will. A little shame or guilt leads to conviction and useful to the Lord. Conversely, a lot of shame causes condemnation--something God doesn't desire for those who serve him (Romans 8:1).

Just like so many things, the enemy perverts those 'healthy doses' of shame to make us lose focus on what and Who is truly important. The enemy's goal is to use condemning shame as an isolating emotion that moves us further away from God; whereas conviction and guilt are tools to turn us towards the Lord. Shame causes us to hide. It causes us to doubt all the good that God has made us to be. Condemning shame causes us to forget that God called his Creation (yes, that includes us) "good" or the fact that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:13) even in our messiness.

When we get caught up in shame then we become egocentric and forget that this life is truly not all about us. It tends to feel like we have this all-powerful God wagging his lofty finger at us, making us cower into ourselves. However, that is not God's plan. He has a plan to 'prosper us and to give us a hope and a future' (Jeremiah 29:11). That is the devil's plan. Satan wants to convince you and I that God couldn't care about us in all of our mess. While that may be how man would treat us, it's not how God treats us. Time and time again he assures us that he will never leave or forsake us, that we are forgiven and that he is a God who grants us immeasurable amounts of grace and mercy. So no matter what addiction you are harboring or bad behavior you can't seem to stop, when you keep making an effort to break through those messy points and not get stuck in the muck and mire of your shame, God will honor that. The enemy wants us stuck. However, God's desire is for us to get the victory over those areas of our lives. The enemy desires for us to keep those secret things hidden and in the dark. God desires for exposure and light to remove the stronghold that these things have on our lives.

So what comes to mind when you are reading these words? What part of your life have you been ashamed of or hiding? What habit or relationship or tendency have you cloaked in darkness? Today is a great new opportunity to bring it to light. While everyone doesn't need to know your dirt, there's value to finding even one trustworthy person who can help you stand in prayer and move out of darkness and into light. Today's the perfect chance to make that change and remove the stress of humiliation and distress caused by our behaviors.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 23: Thought I Was Good...Until I Wasn't...

I was wondering what I would write about today. Today was a good day. I felt like I handled things fine and that no new negative issues came out of me. I also didn't interact with someone where I saw something negative glaring out at me. Like I said, it was a good day. So I sat down to pray about it and got distracted by instagram. Yes...I allowed the allure of the "you've got mail/notifications" draw my attention. As I ran through some of photos of the day, I stopped at one of a lady in her wedding dress and thought to myself how I could never afford such a beautiful, extravagant dress or gorgeous photographs but wishing deeply that I could. In that small moment of nothingingness the word ENVY crossed my heart.

Wow! How quickly had I gone from feeling like I was doing good to realizing that, even in my "goodness", I was still not alright. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not about condemnation. I fully understand what it says in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. Finding the roots of negative feelings/emotions/behaviors in my and others' lives is not about pointing fingers or chastising any of us. But what I believe is that words and thoughts have power. So like what happened today, it would have been so easy for me to get fully distracted by that longing for what I feel like I couldn't/don't have (as per the definition of envy). We must remember that what distracts us can also be what delays us. What distracts us can be the thing that holds us back from truly accomplishing what God wants for us because we are so focused on idolizing the accomplishments and blessings of others.

In fact, the Bible says that envy is one of the "evil things" that "defile a person" (Mark 7:22-23) and that "envy makes bones rot" (Proverbs 14:30). This is not simply about being jealous and hating on someone else and thinking that you deserve what they have more, but instead coveting what they have and putting your soul in danger of a fate that doesn't seem to appealing to most. I don't know about you, but the thought of being defiled or rotten is simply not a good thing to me. So, when I take a moment to acknowledge these moments of envy, then I can stop it in its tracks. Saying "don't envy" is not saying "don't dream". Instead it's saying that you keep your dreams flowing in the right direction. When envy shows itself, I can commit that desire of my heart to the Lord and hope that my desire lines up with God's. I can ask God to change my heart towards the things that make his heart beat. Most importantly, I can redirect my distracted focus back where it should be--on the Father.

You likely aren't envious of a silly fluffy white dress or the eye of a good photographer capturing "your good side" as I. You may desire more money, a thinner body, a buffer body, a different professional opportunity, a different social opportunity...no matter what your thing is, know that I'm praying with and for you that God would take full control of your focus and full control of your dreams on this day.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 22: No Shrinking Back

"You don't have to be scared."

It was a simple sentence in the midst of an internet chat with a friend said the other day. Fear? What fear?! I didn't realize that I was acting scared. I wanted to scream out "I ain't neva skurred!" uhhh...Yeah right. I think that over the years I have gotten so used to wanting to be a competent, independent person that can't be phased that I lost sight that sometimes emotions like fear subversively interfere with my life without my even knowing it. I have spent so much time living out my faith that fear has not has as much space to creep in...or so I thought. Because I was living out loud in some of the more noticeable parts of my life, it was easy to forget pieces of myself that I have conveniently compartmentalized into the box in my heart marked "fragile" and tried to forget even exist. They are the parts that make me appear less brave and less courageous. They are the parts that continually keep me on my knees in the face of my humanity. Where I would love to be this fearless super woman or lionhearted warrior knight, I have to admit that there are definitely human-sized chinks in my armor.

I had/have a decision to make and there's a part of me that has been holding back. There's a part of me that has hesitated and I hadn't previously recognized my reluctance as the beginnings of fear. In one simple sentence, my friend was able to simply call a spade a spade. So today as I prayed and thought about life and me and God, I was glad that fear had been called out. Hidden, it was working against my progress. Hidden, it was hindering clear thinking. Hidden, it was bringing fatigue where there needn't be any. Revealed, I can pray specifically against it. Revealed, the fear loses power. Revealed, I am allowed to be nervous while still being bold as a lion.

I know that I'm not alone. What I want to encourage you in today is to call a spade a spade. Recognize the fear chink in your armor then repair it with the only tool that can fill the hole--your faith. Where you've been hesitating, confused and fatigued, you need to speak to your fears (no matter how big or small they may be) and say 'But I am not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.' (Heb 10:39). Then after speaking to your fears, speak to yourself and remind yourself that 'if you seek the Lord, he will answer you and deliver you from ALL of your fears' (Ps 34:4) even the ones in the compartment marked "handle with care". So, today is the day that I tell you that you will not hesitate. Today is the day that you will gain clarity. Today is the day that YOU WILL NOT SHRINK back as you choose faith.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 21: Wipe Clean

This afternoon, I was doing a devotional for a group of people and as I went to close, the Lord had me ask them to close their eyes and picture writing the name of the person they were having the most difficulty with on a board. Then before we prayed I asked them to wipe the board clean. I could tell that despite what I had said about there not being division among God's people (1 Corinthians 1:10) or about forgetting what was past and pressing towards the future (Philippians 3:13-14) there was still something that hadn't quite shaken loose. As I went back to my office I had the vision of some of them picturing themselves.

At times it is easy to discuss forgiveness when the object of our dissatisfaction lies outside of ourselves. It is often easy to point to another person and clearly define their flaws and ways that they could improve. However, what happens when the dissatisfaction lies within yourself? Today, I want to remind you that the same rules apply to you as to other people. Jesus said that we are to forgive someone "seven times seventy" times (Matthew 18:22)--you included.

No matter what you have done in your past. No matter what you have said in your present. No matter what may come in your future. You. Are. Worth. It. There is nothing too big and nothing too crazy that the Lord doesn't forgive you. Why, then, have you decided to hold onto what He has forgotten? The consequences to your actions may not be gone, but the act of forgiveness is not about absolving anyone of consequences to bad behavior. Instead forgiveness is a heart issue. It's an issue of LOVE. The Bible tells us that real love "keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV). As we hold onto unforgiveness, we hold ourselves in bondage and refuse ourselves the ultimate gift of love. If you don't show love to yourself, how can you expect love to flow freely from others? Demonstrate the love you seek by being that love...even to yourself.

Being able to forgive yourself today is about opening the doors and the windows to your life and letting fresh winds of the Holy Spirit flow through. It allows the Lord to reveal himself in newer ways. It allows the Lord to get through to you clearly instead of through the static of your own reduced self-worth and esteem. Forgiving yourself frees you up and releases you from the leech of bondage that unselfishly drains you of life instead of filling you with peace.

I don't know what issues are outstanding in your heart, but as you read this post, I pray that the Lord put some specific things on your mind to help you identify places of unforgiveness in your heart. While I also want to encourage you to forgive others, I admonish you today to take the first step and clean your personal record sheet before moving on to the records of others.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 17: Out of the Darkness

Sitting in a dark room can be comforting at times. Assuming you have no fear of the dark, the mere act of being alone in a space where everything is still can be life-giving when all the hustle and bustle of things have drained your last bit of energy. The darkness of the room seems to bring a silence that is calming to all angst. While, we often use the analogy of darkness to (appropriately) represent evil, there is a side of darkness that simply represents stillness and rest. In the still of the night so-to-speak... We sleep in the dark. Our bodies naturally regenerate in that time of still darkness. And then the light comes...

At some point, we must rejoin the world. At some point, we must allow the light, the activity of life to begin again. Whether you call it "the blues" or just being "down", depression is a big word with so many layers and so many levels. The one thing I know is that most people may not be clinical but have moments of depression in their lives. Sometimes it's because of relationships, sometimes our jobs, other times situations in the world and still other times we cannot even find the words to say why or how we got to this space...it just is.

But no matter how you get to the point of feeling engulfed in literal or figurative darkness, there is hope to pull us out of depression. What the enemy tries to convince us is that we must stay down in the depth of the darkness--turning it from a place of refuge to a place of bondage. But Truth says that "greater is he that is in YOU, than he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4) and that stinkin' enemy does not have the authority or the power to keep you in darkness. I'm not saying that taking that step will always be easy. For some, the mere idea of pressing forward can be overwhelming and cause anxiety. What I am saying is that there is a reward on the other side of the door...on the other side of the darkness. I'm here today to remind you that there is power in light. There can be joy in deciding to rejoin the world. There is freedom in making a conscious decision to speak to people and embrace life.

Maybe you've been feeling down, "blue", sad...depressed. The first step to healing is to move out of that space of darkness and into light. That may be a matter of shaking off your "blah" day and deciding by re-engaging with friends and family; or it may be that you shine light on true illness and seek help from a professional. You've rested. You've embraced the stillness. Now it's time to burst forth into life. The bible reminds us that we are "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." Put simply, God is interested in our mental and emotional health.

Today, be encouraged to move forward in the decision to not allow the enemy to keep you bound in darkness. Come into the marvelous light...

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 16: Good Grief!

Anyone who has ever watched a Peanuts special knows the phrase "Good grief!" It was the phrase that Charlie Brown uttered at every turn in exasperation. Now I may be telling my age at the mere mention of Charlie Brown, but it is not without cause. You see, I was reflecting on the term and wondered if there is ever such a thing as "good" grief. I've been in an emotional space that's a bit out of sorts. Nothing is wrong per se. I'm doing what I love to do. I work for an awesome God. I support some really wonderful people in doing great things for the Lord. I have love surrounding me in the form of friends and family. Truly, life is pretty good...and yet still out of sorts.

So as I have been attempting to unpack this space of dis-ease and I realized that most of it is just simple fatigue. However, there's a part of this space that has nothing to do with where I am and mostly to do with where I'm not. I realized that I was experiencing an undercurrent of grief.

No, no one I know recently died. That would have been a clear indicator of my grief. Instead, the remnants of this grief snuck in when I least expected it through what I call unfulfilled dreams. Most of the time, I don't think about it. However, every now and again the melancholy of life's ups and downs will sneak in. Perhaps for you it's not about things that haven't happened as much as it is about things that have. Maybe you've lost a friendship or you've changed professional direction. Perhaps you were fired from a job or fired from a relationship (i.e. divorce, break up). It could be that for you, it is genuinely the loss of a loved one. No matter what reason grief rears its ugly head, it just tends to show up on our doorsteps (at times unannounced).

As I had this epiphany, it was not without solution. Two things came my way and are ministering to me in this space. The first are two quotes that I stumbled upon that get right to the heart of the matter: "...the only cure for grief is to grieve." (Earl Grollman) and "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." (C.S. Lewis). So often, we are looking for a shortcut or a magic pill to get through the hard points in our life. But the truth is that we just have to go through some things. And, in the case of grief, we fear the thing...the person...the possibilities we miss. For those things that we have yet to see come to pass, we fear that they never will. For things that have happened before, we fear that they will never happen again.

But that's where the second thing that I discovered comes into play. It's, in fact, more important of my two discoveries and it is scripture that puts salve on the healing spaces in my heart:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts 

us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to 

comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with 

which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Cor 1:3-4)

At the end of the day, it's this scripture that fills my soul when I'm at my most fatigued. It's the Word of God that truly comforts my heart when I'm feeling most at a loss and trying not to be weary. It's His Word that reminds me that there is purpose in this time of wondering, hoping, and grieving--helping us...helping me to see that there really is a "good" element to grief. It doesn't make the fatigue or pain disappear, but it does assuage it just enough to make it possible for us to simply grieve and get through it.

Today, I pray that you be encouraged in the spaces of your grief. May the God of all comfort comfort you in all your affliction so that you will be able to comfort others who are afflicted. 

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 15: Argh!

I got angry.

It's not a very common occurrence in general in my life, but I have noted that I've gotten truly angry a couple of times in the last couple of weeks. That's a hard thing for me to digest because I'm the type to get annoyed or frustrated or hurt, yes... but angry? Yeah no...that's not really my thing. So when someone approached me in the dining room this evening and told me that they had to come check on me because I was "radiating anger from all the way across the room", I knew I needed to take heed. It was my testimony that was being compromised, my day that was being ruined and my face gaining more wrinkles while I stewed about issues of the day. It was harming me over anything else.

I can't blame hormones. I can't blame fatigue. These last two instances have truly been my own weakness, insecurities and sadness mixing together into one apparently volatile cocktail. But I don't know why I was surprised. I just came off of a few days of great personal victories and moments of joy. What I know to be true is that in this spiritual battle, the enemy went for the unexpected weapon--anger (Ephesians 6:12). When you least expect it, the enemy and your flesh will work in cahoots to ensure that you miss a moment of that joy and pieces of your peace.

I think that, in the end, I was more upset that I'd allowed the devil to win than I was at whatever issue had come my way. In hindsight, neither of the situations seemed to be worth "losing my religion over" and so I'm glad that even in my anger, I can be spirit-controlled. I did make every effort (sometimes successfully and sometimes not) to heed the words of Ephesians 4:26-27 to "be angry and sin not"; and I generally try my best to emulate the Lord's example and be "slow to anger". I appreciate that God doesn't tell us that we can't get angry. No. There are things that should anger you in this world. Instead, it's about how much we allow that anger to take up brain space and usurp our power. In both situations, my response (after a bit of venting) was to take it to the Lord in prayer. I can't wait until the day when that is my first response to everything.

So here's a head's up for you. This week, choose to be diligent in clear communication, check your judgments and disappointments about others at the door, and pray for the spiritual health of all those around you--avoiding the pitfalls that lead to anger. Whatever situations may present themselves, remember that 'whoever is slow to anger has great understanding and might' (Proverbs 14:29, 16:32), and trust that the Lord will be the one to secure vengeance and right any wrongs.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 12: Be Gone Controlling Spirit

Did you know that God is real? He is Creator of the universe? He's Author and Finisher of faith... He is sovereign, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. I could go on and on and continue to ascribe to you the Greatness that is the Lord. Yet despite my knowledge of His greatness, I like to be in control of things. Is it just me? So over the past few years, my gracious Lord has been slowly but surely whittling away at my need to be in control. I really have felt great peace work in my life as I have surrendered both the big and little things in my life to Him. I watched as He diligently showed me that He's the same God that provided for Elijah at the brook by sending to ravens to feed him there during the famine (1 Kings 17). I've been awed as He has consistently showed me that He's the same God who delivered on the promises he made to Abraham when he told him to 'go' and he promised to meet him "there" (Genesis 12). I've been astounded as he's continually shown that he is the same gracious and merciful God that spared the children of Israel time and time again even though they were hard-headed. In the midst of it all, what I am reminded of daily is that He's much better at this whole controlling-my-life thing than I am.

When I can't think of what to do next, he's there. But the problem is that first I have to let go. I have to be willing to make His plans come to fruition and not mine. When I don't think I'm ready for something, he's there. When my fears kick in, he's there. When my energy is low, he strengthens me. He is detail-oriented and hasn't forgotten a single thing about me or you. I'm just in awe yet again today of how grateful I am that the controlling spirit that wants to take up permanent residence in my life is not more like a visitor now and again and I'm truly looking forward to the day when it is has completely moved away.

My prayer for you today is that you would be encouraged to rest in Proverbs 3:5-6 and that that controlling spirit in your life will stay at bay...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. 

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 10: Be Bold Or Go Home

Have you ever felt unqualified? I mean, especially when it comes to the things of God, have you ever doubted that God knew fully what he was doing by asking you to be a part. Surely God has made a mistake because you're not this enough or that enough, right? You know your own self--your past and your present, your fears and your triumphs. In fact, I often think about Moses and how much he felt like he was unqualified to be used of God. He told God that his stuttering would hinder his ability to lead the people. But God was greater than Moses' weakness just as much as he is bigger than our varied INSECURITIES.

There are times when we spend so much time downplaying what God is doing in and through us that we begin to undermine our own (and others') confidence in the power of God. As the Lord speaks through us, we've gotten into the habit of being "politically" and "religiously" correct and not saying those words "Thus says the Lord" because we know that so many people have misused the term and we don't want to be wrongly classified. We downplay ourselves almost to a fault--putting on false humility in lieu of true boldness in the work and words of God.

We diminish our power in Christ by not acknowledging that it is truly Him at work in and through us. But the scripture gives us instruction to be "bold as lions" (Proverbs 28:1). God's word reminds us that "Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold." (2 Corinthians 3:12). And finally, we forget that we should be able to shed our insecurities and walk in boldness and confidence because we "can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens" us (Philippians 4:13).

Today it's time to take that courage back. Some of you reading this have decisions to make and have been timidly approaching making a choice. Stop beating around the bush and just do it. Do not compare yourself to other people and what you see them doing and saying. Operate in your own gifts for this season. Flow out of the passions that God has given you. You are enough and uniquely equipped to do what He said. Trust Him to bring assurance where your confidence has waned through the years. Do not allow insecurities--the possibilities for failure and fears--to impede your ability to serve God with abandon and confidence. Knowing that our confidence is not in ourselves but in the power that Christ has given us, we can walk encouraged to speak clearly and with authority, to behave with strength and decisiveness.

My prayer today, Lord: I will give You thanks with all my heart; I

 will sing praises to You before the gods. I will bow down toward Your holy temple 

and give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth; 

For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name. 

On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. 

(Psalm 138:1-4)

Blessings,

Pastor Andrea

DAY 9: Let It Go...Let It Goooooo!

You know when you come across that question that says, "What famous person living or dead would you like to meet?" Well...since I already know Jesus, I'd have to say that my answer is often Nelson Mandela. There's one thing about them both that always leaves me awestruck. I've often marveled at what it would take to move a nation...a people to begin the process of reconciliation at the level that they did. In the case of Mandela, I know that he wasn't perfect (we're not even sure he was a Christian) but he was impactful. In the midst of being an example to the world about forgiveness and fortitude, he also illustrated the principle of letting go of RESENTMENT. And though his motivations may not have been based in his faith, ours should be.

Resentment can be defined as "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly or insulted". Whether we look at Mandela or Christ himself, we know clearly that resentment is poisonous and causes nothing but strife in life. But as Christians we are called to do whatever is possible to live at peace with others (Hebrews 12:14). No matter how justified we feel in our emotions, at the end of the day letting go of resentment means that we cannot hold onto offenses and allow bitterness to set in. Now I know that we can clearly see the effects of long-term, systemic resentment like Mandela was fighting against. When you're discussing race relations and community building, it's easy to say that we need to "get over it" and move beyond past hurts and the legacy of pain that people who have come before us. However, when you have to take the magnifying glass and direct it at the details of our own lives, we often miss the mark. How do I not stay mad at someone who lied about me? How do I not feel some kind of way about being passed over for a job? How do I not allow resentment to make its mark?

We look for a magic answer that will make resentment fade and make our memory short though the wrongs against us may have been long. However, unfortunately there is no magic answer. Moving past resentment takes a daily commitment to merely LET---IT---GO. (Who knew that Disney could be so insightful?) If you need to set that daily commitment to music, then do it. Belt out "Let it go! Let it goooooo..." (the anthem of the movie Frozen) or even just rehearse it quietly in your mind. Speak the Word of God against that feeling regularly. Remind yourself that Proverbs 19:11 says that "...it is his glory to overlook an offense." With that in mind, we must do whatever it takes to consistently remind ourselves to refuse to hold onto the negative poison that is resentment. Choose to exalt the Lord in our hearts instead of exalting our problems or our injuries. Remember that it is the Lord who brings about resolution to our hurts and our injustices. All we have to do is sit back, relax and trust in him.

Lord today, we choose to let resentment go! 

We choose to delight ourselves in the you, knowing that 

you will give us the desires of our heart. We commit our way to you, Lord, 

and choose to trust in you, and for you will act. 

You will bring forth our righteousness as the light, 

and our justice as the noonday. We will be still before you, Lord, 

and wait patiently for you. We choose not to fret over 

the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!

We release all of our offenses to you. Amen.

Psalm 37:4-7 (adapted)

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 7: Changing the Playlist

Yesterday, I posted a picture on social media of something I was doing that day. It was a picture intended to relay the fun and silliness that I was engaging in. It was not a Glamour Shot (if you know what that is, then you are as old as me...haha), but it wasn't the worst picture I've ever taken either. As I read through the responses, many of which were positive, all I could see was the one negative comment among the group. Now to be clear, I don't think that the comment was made with malicious or negative intent. The man's statement about me looking "fat" may have been to be mean, but I doubt it. For some people in non-Western cultures, it's not an insult to make mention of someone's weight. It just is what it is. Stating the truth can be done without attention to the person's feelings. I know this. After living with and around people of many nations for most of my life, I have battled this exact commentary for years on end. Yet armed with my multi-cultural understanding of life, I STILL managed to feel the sting of his statement and play that tape (and replay old tapes that I thought I'd deleted) in my mind for much of yesterday evening and today.

I thought about this more and more I realized that it was the topic of today's devotional. I don't know what to call it though. It's not a clear-cut "emotion". Perhaps this is an issue of insecurities. But, at the end of the day, it's more about the negative tapes that we play in our minds. Your tape may have nothing to do with your appearance. It may be a compilation of things that you were told about what you could or could not do with your life. Maybe you compare your intelligence or your wealth or any number of other things that we can compare ourselves to others in. That point in your life that you lack the most confidence seems to annoyingly remain on "repeat" in our minds and needs to be silenced. No matter what your story is, today is the day to push the OFF button on those words.

As you are faced with what you want to think about yourself, remember that God didn't make a mistake in making you just as you are. In Zephaniah 3:17, we see the sweetest reminder that "...the Lord delights in us..." Rather than feeling as though you are always short of what you need in order to be who you want to be, you need to remember that that YOU ARE ENOUGH. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you expect from strangers. A friend of mine always says "stop talking about my friend that way" when she hears me say something negative about myself. Take the same care to be nice to yourself as you would to another person.

For it will be in the midst of those nice moments--those reminders of how much you are loved and delighted in--that the silence of negative thoughts will be born. May THOSE loving and nurturing thoughts be the ones that take up permanent residence in your mind's playlist instead.

Lord, today I pray that you will silence the tapes of negativity that have played in my mind. Help me to meditate on the positive and not get caught up on the negative. Help us find the words to cancel every hushed word that the enemy whispers into my ear.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 6: Grrrr...umble

It's funny how sneaky negative emotions can be. There you are, going about your day with a smile, then someone asks you a question or you are just having a basic conversation and you realize that negativity is about to slip out of your lips. That was me today. There I was, mindin' my own business, having a chat with a friend and realized that I was about to say something that wasn't necessary. It was one of those things that, had I said it it would have been like starting up an engine and taking both me and the other person on a ride through Murmurville.

Today, I caught myself, but how many other times have I failed that test miserably? How many times do I act like the Children of Israel did in the desert and murmur and complain when things aren't just the way I'd like? Countless. I have read Exodus often and thought that they seemed just like me--always with something to say about a situation and not always fully trusting the Lord to bring it all together. As I wonder about marriage and family and new direction for my life, I find myself sensitive about what words I speak. I try my best to speak life to who I am and what I will become knowing that 'death and life are in the power of my tongue' (Proverbs 18:21). So why is it then that negative words become so easy to spew?

James 3:7 calls the tongue "a fire, and a world of unrighteousness", but today I really want to set my mind, my heart and my tongue in line to be a fire that burns for Christ's righteousness and positivity. Be encouraged that you can make a decision mid-sentence to change the trajectory of any conversation for the better. If you find yourself in the midst of causing a brush fire, snuff out the flame and begin to take a different focus in your words and conversations. We sometimes forget the simplicity of making a difference in this world begins with small moments when you can choose to do something great with your small input. Choose today to be the day that your walk and talk match up in ways that bless others all for the Love of Christ.

Lord bridle my tongue. That is all. Amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 5: Annoyed? Me?! Ooops...

On my very first mission trip ten years ago, our group had gone to visit an orphanage. This was my first mission and also our first mission with my church at the time so we were feeling our way through and leaving much of our agenda in God's hands. It was quite freeing to be able to have a plan and to hold it loosely knowing that with a hurricane looming off the coast, anything could happen at any time. While there, we saw so many children who were full of energy and excited about having fun with this group of strangers. But as I looked off to the side of where we were ministering, I noticed something odd. There was an old tree stoop that had what looked like an extra lump to the side. Upon further research, I saw that it was a young boy and I snapped a picture of him, then put my camera down and simply smiled at that lone eye. The boy never came out from behind the tree, but for a moment, there was no one in world but me smiling at him and him smiling shyly back at me. For one moment he had my undivided attention. For one moment, he was all that mattered.

I think of this boy at times and hope that someone notices him. So often we get so busy with life that we barely have the chance to stop and really notice the people and places around us. Today, as I was praying about what to write, the phone rang. My first reaction was annoyance (otherwise known as negative emotion #5 at this moment). I was annoyed that my time was being interrupted. In my annoyance, I even stubbed my toe as I headed for the phone (figures)...only to find that the person on the other end was calling to bless me with a yummy treat. Oops...my bad...Annoyed? Me? Noooooo...certainly you can interrupt me at any time...sigh...yeah I'm a mess. I was immediately convicted and wondered how often do I do things that could be annoying to the Lord (if he weren't quite as grace-filled as I know him to be). I ask God the same questions over and over again. I walk the same wrong direction and have the same negative emotions continually rear their ugly heads. Yet and still, God is continually patient with me.

We are often busy with our plan for how the day should go, but we forget to hold that plan loosely and allow for God to take the reigns. He is the best "event planner" and can orchestrate the most special moments of your life if you let him. How sweet is His word that declares, "Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him." (Isaiah 30:18)? It is so sweet to know that God longs to be gracious to us. He takes his time with us. He notices us. He notices you and he knows you. Just as he did with the woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8, he stops for us and doesn't just rush on by. And when he stops, he isn't annoyed and hasn't lost his compassion or his graciousness towards us.

What an incredible gift that is!

Today, you have an opportunity to share that gift with those that you pass each and every day. You can approach this new week with intention and attention to those things that rarely get your undivided focus. When a child passes, wave and smile and look them in the eye. When someone calls, take the call. When you think of someone, stop in that moment and send them a text or an email or pick up the phone and call to just let them know that you were thinking of them. This week, you can decide to give someone that priceless gift that keeps on giving--your time. You must remember that the idea of stopping to smell the roses never goes out of style. The roses don't need you to smell them, but think of all the great aroma of life you miss when you pass them by.

Life happens in those little moments when we pay attention to the little things and make connections of the heart that may only even take a moment or two but will last you (and hopefully the other person) a lifetime. Release your annoyances and move in compassion. And through it all, pray that God will give you a heart like His...one filled with compassion, mercy and grace.

Lord, today do us like you promised in Ezekiel 36 and 'give us a new heart and put a new spirit in us...remove our hearts of stone and cause us to walk according to your will'. We want to notice others as you notice us. We want to show others compassion as you are steadfast in your compassion towards us. We want to leave annoyance in our past and have a future orchestrated by your mighty hand. Amen.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea