Time to Rest

The other day, I had a conversation with someone and mentioned that I was tired. He asked me if I was sleeping okay. I said yes. Then he stumped me and asked if I was RESTING okay. As a small tear came to my eye, I realized that it had been a long while since I had sustained REST. I do have continual peace. I have taken breaks here and there. But, if I'm being honest with myself, there have not been real sustained periods of rest. And I ruminated on that thought and wondered how I would possibly get that rest with life going forward and ministry being what it is. And THAT started to fatigue me even more...

It wasn't until I remembered that rest may come in space rather than time, that the weight of that fatigue began to lift. I knew that the source of my rest would not be one of long time or extended periods of sleep and vacation. That had become evident. But what was real was that God was and is always able to give me (and you) a refreshing and a rest that exceeds our understanding of how or where it comes from.

For me, God sent me some great quality time with my mother that brought that refreshing and that feeling of REST. At times rest is simply a supernatural blessing that comes out of nowhere. Other times it's the smile of a friend or the hug of a loved one that seems to bring you a charge. Or perhaps it's even simply an hour alone listening to your favorite songs, or a quiet ride in the car, or a small breeze that hits your face just so. If you find yourself at the end of your energy rope, I'm here to remind you that God is ABLE and WILLING to bring you a remedy for your much-needed REST. Truly His Word saying that we can bring ourSELVES (not just our problems) to Him is real. Be encouraged that the Lord knows that one thing that will give you strength, that thing on this earth that seems to breathe extra life into your deflating spirit, and it's waiting with Him just for you.

You Can Be Free

And when Peter had come to himself, he said, “Now I know for certain that the Lord has sent His angel, and has delivered me from the hand of Herod and from all the expectation of the Jewish people.” Acts 12:11

There are times in our lives that are burned in our memories as times when God did a major working in us. Maybe it was a time when you felt the greatest pain or the greatest confusion. Or it could have even been the time you felt the greatest triumph or joy. As I heard someone read this scripture this morning, my mind immediately went to one of those times in my life. It was a time of growing and a time of stretching. For me it was painful and lonely I couldn't imagine when it would end. 

But it did.

At some point the pressure eased up and I could see through the fog that had settled to one big word...expectations. As I meditated and reflected, I could see that part of God helping me to make peace with elements of my past meant doing a critical thing: delivering me from expectations of people. A lot of times we focus on the first part of what God does just like it says in Acts 12:11. We focus on being delivered from the hand of our enemies (ex. Herod). However, the fullness of God's freedom includes deliverance from expectations as well. In some cases, I needed to release myself from what others expected of me, but the main person I had to get delivered from was myself. 

So many of my hurts and disappointments were tied up in who I hoped, wanted, expected others to be for me. I have wonderful family and friends who are supportive and encouraging and loving; yet even with that I had places hidden in my heart that were disappointed by this or that. Truly my heart was tied to places where people hadn't been what I had hoped. When I needed them, they hadn't been there. What I wanted, they hadn't delivered. I had sometimes measured the love in our relationship by what they had/hadn't given to me and not always on what I had given to them. They had missed their lines in the play of my life that I had cast them in and I realized through this process that it wasn't fair because I had cast them in a part and with lines that they hadn't agreed to. 

Those people around me had been just who God wanted them to be and not who I wanted them to be. They had been who I needed them to be and not always what I wanted them to be. At the moments when I wished they had been on the other side of a phone when I called, God wanted me to be turning to Him. When they had said "no" instead of saying "yes", God's plan was at play. Even in times when they had done things "wrong" or hurtful, Romans 8:28 was truly at work with all things working together for my good. I couldn't see it then. I felt hurt and confused and abandoned at times. However, as I looked back I realized that everything had happened just the way that it should--mistakes, hurts and all. 

There's a thin line between setting standards of excellence so that we strive for the best and setting expectations for others based on an ideal that we have created that may not always be in line with what is fair and/or what God wants for our lives. Being healthy and at peace is about realizing when that line has been crossed. And so the cookie crumbles both ways. Just as God released me from my expectations of others, he also delivered me from unrealistic expectations of others that did not match the journey that he had/has me on. There are times when people want you to be more than you can be for them. The weight of that can be tremendous. There are times when your actions don't match with the hopes that others have for you. Your obligation is to living a life that strives for excellence but that is not bound by mistakes you may make or times when you miss the mark.

I don't know what you are going through or what pieces of your past are weighing you down now in your present and preventing you from moving pain-free into your future. What I do know is that God is able to deliver you from the heart of some of this pain and hurt--your expectations. Perhaps you had expectations of your mom to be positive when instead she said negative things to you. Perhaps you had expectations of your father to protect you at all costs, but you still got hurt on his watch. Perhaps you expected your child to do better than you had done and are disappointed at some of the choices they have made. 

No matter what your expectations, today is a good day to allow the Spirit of the Lord to release you from them. Cry out to Him. Tell Him. Then release it! Your total freedom hinges on this very thing. Freedom from the places of past hurts and pain does not end with apologies. Instead it ends with forgiveness--forgiving others for not doing right, for not doing what you'd hoped, and for not being who you'd expected. Today I want to encourage you to take advantage of what God is offering--freedom from your enemies and deliverance from expectations (i.e. peace of mind). It's yours for the taking. 

Be encouraged.

Blessings,
Pastor A

P.S. Don't forget to share the blessing. If you know someone who needs this word...pass it along.

DAY 33: He's Got You

There's no other feeling like the one that God has forgotten you. I'm not sure what the emotion word would be to express the feeling of being lost or perhaps neglected. The one word that seems to make the most sense is FORSAKEN. I just felt the need to write today a brief reminder that you have not been forsaken. I realize that it's easy for me to say and harder to believe. However, there really are some things that you need to take at face value. This promise is one of them. There are a few things that God says over and over and over again throughout the Bible. For instance, there are so many references to "do not fear" or to "be courageous". Similarly, there are many notations throughout God's Word that says that he will never leave you or forsake you. Earlier, I was reminded of two of my favorite scriptures that constantly keep that before me: Isaiah 42:16 and 49:16. The point of them both? God has not forgotten you. Just like people write things on their hands in an effort to remember them, God has permanently engraved your name on the palm of his hand so that you know that you are always at the top of his thoughts.

It's easy to feel like you are on the road to nowhere all by yourself. You can't see what's coming next, but just remember that that is the essence of faith--trusting in what you can't see and what you can't figure out. It's possible that you're in one of those situations where you can't lean on your own understanding (Prov 3:5-6) and have to fully trust in the Lord. Maybe you've stepped out on the proverbial water like Peter and you are searching for Christ to be out there with you. Or maybe you're trying to find the courage to try something completely different or new. While your hesitation in moving forward may be normal, it is not necessary. God is ready to walk with you, behind you, in front of you and carry you as the situation may require.

As you feel troubles and distress coming at you on every side, today, be reminded that God has you in the palm of His hand. He has not forgotten you. And, though you can't see the path clearly, just know that God is leading the way.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 28: You WILL Find Rest

There's an American couple who have been walking through an adoption process with a young boy in Uganda. They are woodworkers in California who have sold much of what they can and put somewhat of a pause on their lives to go to Uganda to finish out the process of getting their son healthy and adopted in person. It's a rather sweet story of God using their journey in the process to minister to couples near and far and to individuals around the world. They have an Instagram account and a blog (http://graceandsalt.net/) and all the other modern social media accouterments that help communicate to the world the ups and downs of what God is doing. If you're following one of those lines of communication as I am, you get to see some of the victories and some of the challenges. The past couple of days, their posts have reflected a consistent message, "we are tired." Their mission has taken its toll--emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Their transparency in those moments is real; and, as a fellow missionary, I feel their pain. As I read their post with my own droopy eyes earlier today, I could understand a part of what they were trying to communicate--being tired, fatigued...WEARY.

As a pastor and counselor, missionary and person, this is a thing that I have seen so very often over the years. There are times when I must walk alongside of others in the Lord where they feel as though they have hit their limit and are burning out. And sometimes it's not them but me who has gotten to a point where I feel like my reserves are negative empty. I have been at the point in my life where even vacations just do enough to fill me up to that empty line and there's more that must be dealt with. It's that point that you reach where sleep is not the issue. I remember reading a definition of symptoms given by the Mayo Clinic about chronic fatigue that said it's a "nearly constant state of weariness that develops over time and diminishes your energy and mental capacity...impacts your emotional and psychological well-being, too." I had looked it up when I was in one of those places of burnout and it helped me to put how I was feeling in physiological terms. 

And while some of fatigue is about the body and what we do to take care of ourselves (or not take care of ourselves), there is a large part that is about the routines and emotional/spiritual support (or lack thereof) that simply drain us and make matters worse. So you cannot look at fatigue and weariness in a vacuum of medical intervention and expect everything to be okay. In my own journey through weariness, I had to turn to my other Resource (a.k.a. the Bible) for solutions and understanding as well. In the process I found two of my life verses, Galatians 6:9 and Matthew 11:28-29. First we're told, "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we FAINT NOT." and then you have the words of Jesus compelling us to "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I WILL GIVE YOU REST. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

You see, God supports us on both sides. He wants you to be proactive and do things to keep focused on Him--persevering and pressing towards what He's called you to do--but with wisdom and understanding of how to take care of yourself so that you can continue on without fainting. He's an advocate for taking care of yourself. But then he also says that if you've reached the point where you feel you are fainting, he's got your back. He assured us that if we come to him during these points of weariness we will find rest for our souls...not may or could, but he's made a promise of what he wants to do for you. No matter what you are facin--be it adoption in Uganda or war in Syria or stress in Minnesota--God wants to help you find soulful rest and to bring forth the harvest for all that you've sown. When I read the "graceandsalt" post, my immediate thought was to encourage them (and you) that "due season" is on it's way.

Today, I want challenge you to proactively have a plan for personal care. Take care of yourself physically. Get sleep. Eat well. Take breaks. Talk to friends. But, at the end of the day, don't forget to take care of yourself spiritually. Don't forget to check in with the Lord. Don't foget to keep your eyes on Him as he is the ultimate smelling salt and can keep you from fainting. He wants to be a part of your personal treatment plan too. When you feel like you don't have time to pause, meditate, seek him...that's the time when you need to dig in the most. Never lose site of that because that is where you will find fulfillment to the promise for rest.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 24: Emptied Out

There's this old gospel hymn that CeCe Winans did a version of on one of her CDs some years ago. She didn't actually remake the entire song, but just did a portion as an opening to the CD...

Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up, Lord. Come and quench...this thirsting in my soul. Bread from Heaven, Fill me 'til I want no more...Fill my cup. Fill it up. And make me whole...

It's one of my favorites and I've found myself at times when I've come to my wit's end and feeling completely emptied out singing those very words as she did.  While there is a spiritual value in being "emptied out" of ourselves and emptied out of our sin and emptied out of our mess, being emptied of the good stuff too can be more than a bit overwhelming. So, in moments when I don't know what else to think or do, when I've gone a bit numb to my feelings, when I've given all that I can give, or simply can't put a word to what I feel except "fine", I remember her plea. Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up, Lord. Truthfully, there are times when I feel like I don't even have the energy to lift up my cup. It's empty and I'm empty and the only thing I can think to do is sing.

It may seem silly to some, but I dare you to say the words or maybe even sing them if you're feeling empty. Or if you can't do it, go download the song and let her sing it to you. Listen carefully to the words of offering that she gives to the Lord. Let your faith be built by hearing the words she uses in hers. Close your eyes and imagine a you-shaped cup being filled by the overflow of the Holy Spirit. Let your imagination and your hopes give way to renewal and spiritual filling where physical filling may still be needed. Reset your mind to know that it is truly possible for God to make it so that your cup overflows (Psalm 23:5).

I'm a witness that He can do it.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea