You Can Be Free

And when Peter had come to himself, he said, “Now I know for certain that the Lord has sent His angel, and has delivered me from the hand of Herod and from all the expectation of the Jewish people.” Acts 12:11

There are times in our lives that are burned in our memories as times when God did a major working in us. Maybe it was a time when you felt the greatest pain or the greatest confusion. Or it could have even been the time you felt the greatest triumph or joy. As I heard someone read this scripture this morning, my mind immediately went to one of those times in my life. It was a time of growing and a time of stretching. For me it was painful and lonely I couldn't imagine when it would end. 

But it did.

At some point the pressure eased up and I could see through the fog that had settled to one big word...expectations. As I meditated and reflected, I could see that part of God helping me to make peace with elements of my past meant doing a critical thing: delivering me from expectations of people. A lot of times we focus on the first part of what God does just like it says in Acts 12:11. We focus on being delivered from the hand of our enemies (ex. Herod). However, the fullness of God's freedom includes deliverance from expectations as well. In some cases, I needed to release myself from what others expected of me, but the main person I had to get delivered from was myself. 

So many of my hurts and disappointments were tied up in who I hoped, wanted, expected others to be for me. I have wonderful family and friends who are supportive and encouraging and loving; yet even with that I had places hidden in my heart that were disappointed by this or that. Truly my heart was tied to places where people hadn't been what I had hoped. When I needed them, they hadn't been there. What I wanted, they hadn't delivered. I had sometimes measured the love in our relationship by what they had/hadn't given to me and not always on what I had given to them. They had missed their lines in the play of my life that I had cast them in and I realized through this process that it wasn't fair because I had cast them in a part and with lines that they hadn't agreed to. 

Those people around me had been just who God wanted them to be and not who I wanted them to be. They had been who I needed them to be and not always what I wanted them to be. At the moments when I wished they had been on the other side of a phone when I called, God wanted me to be turning to Him. When they had said "no" instead of saying "yes", God's plan was at play. Even in times when they had done things "wrong" or hurtful, Romans 8:28 was truly at work with all things working together for my good. I couldn't see it then. I felt hurt and confused and abandoned at times. However, as I looked back I realized that everything had happened just the way that it should--mistakes, hurts and all. 

There's a thin line between setting standards of excellence so that we strive for the best and setting expectations for others based on an ideal that we have created that may not always be in line with what is fair and/or what God wants for our lives. Being healthy and at peace is about realizing when that line has been crossed. And so the cookie crumbles both ways. Just as God released me from my expectations of others, he also delivered me from unrealistic expectations of others that did not match the journey that he had/has me on. There are times when people want you to be more than you can be for them. The weight of that can be tremendous. There are times when your actions don't match with the hopes that others have for you. Your obligation is to living a life that strives for excellence but that is not bound by mistakes you may make or times when you miss the mark.

I don't know what you are going through or what pieces of your past are weighing you down now in your present and preventing you from moving pain-free into your future. What I do know is that God is able to deliver you from the heart of some of this pain and hurt--your expectations. Perhaps you had expectations of your mom to be positive when instead she said negative things to you. Perhaps you had expectations of your father to protect you at all costs, but you still got hurt on his watch. Perhaps you expected your child to do better than you had done and are disappointed at some of the choices they have made. 

No matter what your expectations, today is a good day to allow the Spirit of the Lord to release you from them. Cry out to Him. Tell Him. Then release it! Your total freedom hinges on this very thing. Freedom from the places of past hurts and pain does not end with apologies. Instead it ends with forgiveness--forgiving others for not doing right, for not doing what you'd hoped, and for not being who you'd expected. Today I want to encourage you to take advantage of what God is offering--freedom from your enemies and deliverance from expectations (i.e. peace of mind). It's yours for the taking. 

Be encouraged.

Blessings,
Pastor A

P.S. Don't forget to share the blessing. If you know someone who needs this word...pass it along.

Day 38: Yep...A Plank In My Eye

I've decided that one of the most pitiful, "something's not right here" sights I've seen in a long while (next to a pretty, well-dressed, grown woman cursing like a sailor) was a grown Christian person pouting the other day because they didn't get their way. They wanted something that a child wanted as well, and the other adults in the room all agreed that the child should have it. So when the child got it, I swear I saw the bottom lip of this grown person begin to tremble. And it wouldn't have been so bad except that today, I caught myself having a conversation with God and making the very same face as I pouted over an unfulfilled prayer request...Ouch...Busted!

Talk about getting convicted! I was so quick to see this person's pout as inappropriate and "not right", but in my own moment of childish splendor I forgot all about my stance with a quickness. How quickly we forget... In my self-righteousness I thought that I had moved past acting like a child. Yet, what I've seen to be true over and over again is that I'm no better than anyone else. And God surely reminds me of this gently every now and again for sure.

I'm a good person for the most part, but not above being duped by self-righteousness and judgement. Truly these character flaws are so slippery. Like many things in my Christian faith, I have come to realize that I've got it down pat when it comes to the big things. I try not to judge people's life decisions, styles, or even their basic decision to become or not become a Christian. All of those are the big things--for which I find myself unfailingly tolerant and patient. But an air of self-righteousness sneaks in when I least expect it and see the small things that I may have "conquered" (or think I have) playing out in those around me. It's that moment when you look at your ex's current love interest (even though you don't want him/her any more) and think that they could've done better with you; or the time you watch another parent fail to get their child to behave in the supermarket line while yours is the picture of obedience (that day/moment). It's the time that we make (what we think are harmless) jokes about people's vocabulary choices; or when you watch the person who got a raise at work make a silly error that you feel you never would have made.

I try my best to not experience these moments. However, just when I think I have it together, God shows me a new example and quickly puts me in my place. It's just like the scripture says, "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (Luke 18:14) Or even like what I've heard preachers say...that if you point your finger at someone, you must be careful because there are three more pointing back at you. We are admonished to deal with our own stuff before worrying about someone else's problems (Matthew 7:3); and today I'm just reminded that that means you have to diligently and daily be looking at yourself so as not to slip idly into that place of judgement.

That said, today's your chance to do a self-check. What have you been watching, thinking, doing that (even in small ways) exalts you over another person? Where have you allowed hints of self-righteousness to show themselves in your life? Today I want to encourage you that those hints don't have to remain. As we walk this Christian journey, we have a new chance each day to commit our negative minds to God, repent and allow the power of the Holy Spirit to convict us each of sin, righteousness, and judgement (John 16:8). So today...take the chance...

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea