DAY 25: Can't Slay Dragons You Avoid

I slayed a dragon just now.

I know that sounds odd, but it's how I feel. Beyond procrastination and beyond fear was a big ugly dragon called AVOIDANCE. Procrastination is about delaying and putting something off where avoidance tries to prevent it completely. So what I've learned over the years is that I have a bad habit of avoiding things that I don't want to deal with. (It's probably just me. The rest of you face things head on, I know, but bear with me because I'm a work in progress.) Particularly, those things I don't understand...well...it's better left off my radar (not even at the bottom of the "To-Do" list) than where I have to constantly be reminded that there's something or someone I'm avoiding dealing with and that someone is God.

I probably shouldn't admit that. I mean, I'm a minister, a pastor, a prophet of God...and I'm struggling to pray to the Lord?! I call myself a Christian (and truly am). I love God. I get excited about God. I talk about God and encourage people in God. I read about God and listen to God. What kind of sense does that make? None. However, sensible or not, there's been a couple of things (a.k.a. dragons) that I honestly have shut down the lines of communication with Him on. Or at least I had.

But this evening, I faced one of those dragons. This evening, I decided that I would stop not praying about some questions I have. Not praying got me no closer to answers but that has a good and bad side. If you pray...if you ask questions with authenticity and truth then you must be willing and ready to hear answers. And THAT is where my avoidance was birthed. I haven't been afraid really that God would say no about some things. In fact, I think I have gotten used to a "no" or "not now" in some areas of my life. So what happens when in your spirit you feel a shifting and you have a feeling that the answer may actually be "yes"? What's a girl to do!?

Well this girl did the first unhealthy, negative thing I could think to do--took it off the radar and avoided. I checked emails, talked to people, surfed the social sites, made phone calls, wrote blogs...and didn't do the written prayer in my journal that I knew the Lord was calling for specific to this one issue. What's worse, I didn't even know I was doing it until I looked up and realized that I had been eating it up. Instead of facing the Lord, I was facing a plate or a snack. After such great progress in my journey towards health, I began putting that on the line again all in the name of avoidance.

And yes, fear is tied up in this thing. Truly my fear of failure has risen to the top on multiple occasions but what scares me more (and what was at play here) is about that fear of success. Success and yeses mean expectations and responsibilities. Somewhere along the way, I had managed to convince myself that I could not handle either. Somewhere along the way, I'd allowed the enemy to whisper that LIE into my spirit and it stuck...well until today. Today, I faced that dragon. Today, I looked it squarely in the face (after I ate the last snack bar of course) and said DIE because "Greater is He that is in my than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4) Today I decided to heed the scripture that says to "walk in the Spirit, and don't gratify the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). Though that verse truly speaks about sin, I think it's applicable to walk in the spirit and not give in to the desire of my flesh to avoid God.

If what I've written here sounds familiar to you too, then bravo in advance for facing and slaying your dragons. You can't slay them though if you avoid them. And if this is not you...well then pray for us. Either way and most importantly...be encouraged to face GOD head on with boldness or with hesitation. He can take it.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 22: No Shrinking Back

"You don't have to be scared."

It was a simple sentence in the midst of an internet chat with a friend said the other day. Fear? What fear?! I didn't realize that I was acting scared. I wanted to scream out "I ain't neva skurred!" uhhh...Yeah right. I think that over the years I have gotten so used to wanting to be a competent, independent person that can't be phased that I lost sight that sometimes emotions like fear subversively interfere with my life without my even knowing it. I have spent so much time living out my faith that fear has not has as much space to creep in...or so I thought. Because I was living out loud in some of the more noticeable parts of my life, it was easy to forget pieces of myself that I have conveniently compartmentalized into the box in my heart marked "fragile" and tried to forget even exist. They are the parts that make me appear less brave and less courageous. They are the parts that continually keep me on my knees in the face of my humanity. Where I would love to be this fearless super woman or lionhearted warrior knight, I have to admit that there are definitely human-sized chinks in my armor.

I had/have a decision to make and there's a part of me that has been holding back. There's a part of me that has hesitated and I hadn't previously recognized my reluctance as the beginnings of fear. In one simple sentence, my friend was able to simply call a spade a spade. So today as I prayed and thought about life and me and God, I was glad that fear had been called out. Hidden, it was working against my progress. Hidden, it was hindering clear thinking. Hidden, it was bringing fatigue where there needn't be any. Revealed, I can pray specifically against it. Revealed, the fear loses power. Revealed, I am allowed to be nervous while still being bold as a lion.

I know that I'm not alone. What I want to encourage you in today is to call a spade a spade. Recognize the fear chink in your armor then repair it with the only tool that can fill the hole--your faith. Where you've been hesitating, confused and fatigued, you need to speak to your fears (no matter how big or small they may be) and say 'But I am not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.' (Heb 10:39). Then after speaking to your fears, speak to yourself and remind yourself that 'if you seek the Lord, he will answer you and deliver you from ALL of your fears' (Ps 34:4) even the ones in the compartment marked "handle with care". So, today is the day that I tell you that you will not hesitate. Today is the day that you will gain clarity. Today is the day that YOU WILL NOT SHRINK back as you choose faith.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 19: Again I Say...Don't Worry...

As I got ready for church this morning, I was reminded of our dress code that urges for women to wear closed-toed shoes when in formal and/or church settings. As I dressed,I felt this little tug of something as if to say "don't wear them today". When I arrived at the site of the church, I was amazed as they shuffled me up the stairs to a half-built building where seats were reserved at the front and a puddle lined the front of this open air room.

The normal church building was under at least a foot of rain water--flooded after two days of rain in here in Madagascar. The people had relocated with high praises going on from the second floor of the building just in front of it that they are currently building for a new sanctuary. The word God gave me for them in that moment is the word I pass along to you right now...DON'T WORRY. Worry is a useless emotion/behavior. In fact, I appreciate a quote I read that said that "worry is a misuse of imagination".

But we have a God on our side whose imagination is supreme. He is the ultimate Creator and he doesn't miss a beat. The Lord that we serve is detail-oriented. He has every detail of our lives in his sight. That means from the top of our heads to the soles of our feet, he is interested in all that we do...so much so that what I now know was the Holy Spirit would nudge me to do something as simple as not wear a certain type of shoes.

As I read the words of Matthew 6 to this congregation, I was amazed that God would say these words to people who, from the outside looking in, seemed to have plenty to worry about. The church and the house that shares its courtyard it was knee-deep in water like so many homes in the city. There are people around the world still mourning the loss of the Malaysian airline one year ago. There are people in Sierra Leone and Guinea sick and dying with Ebola. There are nations and people around the world at war. Yet, in the midst of it all--come hell or high waters...literally--God says "don't worry". If he tells those in the midst of spaces like this not to worry, then how much more would he expect those of us with concerns of what shoes to wear or what job to take or what people to befriend to walk boldly in TRUST and faith. This is not to devalue what you're going through as much as to encourage you that you can trust in this powerful God who would do as little as make sure my shoes were right for the times I was preaching in. Just like the scripture says, "how much more would he do you, oh you of little faith?"

Selah.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 17: Out of the Darkness

Sitting in a dark room can be comforting at times. Assuming you have no fear of the dark, the mere act of being alone in a space where everything is still can be life-giving when all the hustle and bustle of things have drained your last bit of energy. The darkness of the room seems to bring a silence that is calming to all angst. While, we often use the analogy of darkness to (appropriately) represent evil, there is a side of darkness that simply represents stillness and rest. In the still of the night so-to-speak... We sleep in the dark. Our bodies naturally regenerate in that time of still darkness. And then the light comes...

At some point, we must rejoin the world. At some point, we must allow the light, the activity of life to begin again. Whether you call it "the blues" or just being "down", depression is a big word with so many layers and so many levels. The one thing I know is that most people may not be clinical but have moments of depression in their lives. Sometimes it's because of relationships, sometimes our jobs, other times situations in the world and still other times we cannot even find the words to say why or how we got to this space...it just is.

But no matter how you get to the point of feeling engulfed in literal or figurative darkness, there is hope to pull us out of depression. What the enemy tries to convince us is that we must stay down in the depth of the darkness--turning it from a place of refuge to a place of bondage. But Truth says that "greater is he that is in YOU, than he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4) and that stinkin' enemy does not have the authority or the power to keep you in darkness. I'm not saying that taking that step will always be easy. For some, the mere idea of pressing forward can be overwhelming and cause anxiety. What I am saying is that there is a reward on the other side of the door...on the other side of the darkness. I'm here today to remind you that there is power in light. There can be joy in deciding to rejoin the world. There is freedom in making a conscious decision to speak to people and embrace life.

Maybe you've been feeling down, "blue", sad...depressed. The first step to healing is to move out of that space of darkness and into light. That may be a matter of shaking off your "blah" day and deciding by re-engaging with friends and family; or it may be that you shine light on true illness and seek help from a professional. You've rested. You've embraced the stillness. Now it's time to burst forth into life. The bible reminds us that we are "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." Put simply, God is interested in our mental and emotional health.

Today, be encouraged to move forward in the decision to not allow the enemy to keep you bound in darkness. Come into the marvelous light...

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

DAY 16: Good Grief!

Anyone who has ever watched a Peanuts special knows the phrase "Good grief!" It was the phrase that Charlie Brown uttered at every turn in exasperation. Now I may be telling my age at the mere mention of Charlie Brown, but it is not without cause. You see, I was reflecting on the term and wondered if there is ever such a thing as "good" grief. I've been in an emotional space that's a bit out of sorts. Nothing is wrong per se. I'm doing what I love to do. I work for an awesome God. I support some really wonderful people in doing great things for the Lord. I have love surrounding me in the form of friends and family. Truly, life is pretty good...and yet still out of sorts.

So as I have been attempting to unpack this space of dis-ease and I realized that most of it is just simple fatigue. However, there's a part of this space that has nothing to do with where I am and mostly to do with where I'm not. I realized that I was experiencing an undercurrent of grief.

No, no one I know recently died. That would have been a clear indicator of my grief. Instead, the remnants of this grief snuck in when I least expected it through what I call unfulfilled dreams. Most of the time, I don't think about it. However, every now and again the melancholy of life's ups and downs will sneak in. Perhaps for you it's not about things that haven't happened as much as it is about things that have. Maybe you've lost a friendship or you've changed professional direction. Perhaps you were fired from a job or fired from a relationship (i.e. divorce, break up). It could be that for you, it is genuinely the loss of a loved one. No matter what reason grief rears its ugly head, it just tends to show up on our doorsteps (at times unannounced).

As I had this epiphany, it was not without solution. Two things came my way and are ministering to me in this space. The first are two quotes that I stumbled upon that get right to the heart of the matter: "...the only cure for grief is to grieve." (Earl Grollman) and "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." (C.S. Lewis). So often, we are looking for a shortcut or a magic pill to get through the hard points in our life. But the truth is that we just have to go through some things. And, in the case of grief, we fear the thing...the person...the possibilities we miss. For those things that we have yet to see come to pass, we fear that they never will. For things that have happened before, we fear that they will never happen again.

But that's where the second thing that I discovered comes into play. It's, in fact, more important of my two discoveries and it is scripture that puts salve on the healing spaces in my heart:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts 

us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to 

comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with 

which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Cor 1:3-4)

At the end of the day, it's this scripture that fills my soul when I'm at my most fatigued. It's the Word of God that truly comforts my heart when I'm feeling most at a loss and trying not to be weary. It's His Word that reminds me that there is purpose in this time of wondering, hoping, and grieving--helping us...helping me to see that there really is a "good" element to grief. It doesn't make the fatigue or pain disappear, but it does assuage it just enough to make it possible for us to simply grieve and get through it.

Today, I pray that you be encouraged in the spaces of your grief. May the God of all comfort comfort you in all your affliction so that you will be able to comfort others who are afflicted. 

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

Recipe for Success: Life + Pepper

There's a saying that a Dutch friend of mine shared with me that I simply cannot shake. She said she felt like someone needed to:

Eat a little more pepper!

The visual of a person choosing to add spice and a little "get up and go" to their approach to life was humorous for sure. In her direct, poetic way she was expressing frustration about a person's hesitance to make decisions and move boldly. And, while not making a commentary on the specific person/situation she was referring to, I gave a hearty "Amen" to the sentiment. You see, I am constantly amazed at the hesitance of Christians. When I read the Bible, I see so many examples of boldness and so many moments where God asked for people to walk with authority. You look at the patriarchs of the faith and see examples people like Abraham who left on God's command and walked boldly into what they were called to do or women like Jael who without trembling immobilized the enemy with a nail into the temple in his sleep (Judges 4). When you look at all of the people who made it into the "Faith Hall of Fame" in the book of Hebrews, you see countless examples of boldness and courage that continue to baffle us to this day. Or you can even think of contemporary examples like Albert Einstein, MLK, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, and so on across the nations who were world-changers because of their boldness.

Some moved on behalf of Christ and others in the name of whatever power they held dear. And so I find myself wondering how, if people can change the world and walk boldly with non-Christian motivations, how much more can we as Christians do in the boldness we draw from Christ? You may be reading this and have been on a see-saw of emotions--wondering what your next steps in life are, seeking God on which way to turn...which way to go, people to see, places to be. Today, I want to challenge you to move in boldness and add a little "pepper" to your approach. Pick up your mantle of faith and walk without fear. Remember what God has placed in you--the gifts and dreams that have simmered under the surface. Remember the doors He has opened; and walk through those doors without abandon...or to echo my friend...Eat a little more pepper! Need scriptural basis for this command? Try out:

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:6-7)

Though you may fear making a mistake, I ask you...what is the harm in that? Most mistakes are the building blocks of greatness. So for now, disregard the potential for mistakes and spice up your life. For sure, a little dash of pepper/boldness can surely be that one last ingredient to a recipe for success that you need to accomplish what God has called you to.

Be encouraged,
Pastor Andrea