DAY 25: Can't Slay Dragons You Avoid

I slayed a dragon just now.

I know that sounds odd, but it's how I feel. Beyond procrastination and beyond fear was a big ugly dragon called AVOIDANCE. Procrastination is about delaying and putting something off where avoidance tries to prevent it completely. So what I've learned over the years is that I have a bad habit of avoiding things that I don't want to deal with. (It's probably just me. The rest of you face things head on, I know, but bear with me because I'm a work in progress.) Particularly, those things I don't understand...well...it's better left off my radar (not even at the bottom of the "To-Do" list) than where I have to constantly be reminded that there's something or someone I'm avoiding dealing with and that someone is God.

I probably shouldn't admit that. I mean, I'm a minister, a pastor, a prophet of God...and I'm struggling to pray to the Lord?! I call myself a Christian (and truly am). I love God. I get excited about God. I talk about God and encourage people in God. I read about God and listen to God. What kind of sense does that make? None. However, sensible or not, there's been a couple of things (a.k.a. dragons) that I honestly have shut down the lines of communication with Him on. Or at least I had.

But this evening, I faced one of those dragons. This evening, I decided that I would stop not praying about some questions I have. Not praying got me no closer to answers but that has a good and bad side. If you pray...if you ask questions with authenticity and truth then you must be willing and ready to hear answers. And THAT is where my avoidance was birthed. I haven't been afraid really that God would say no about some things. In fact, I think I have gotten used to a "no" or "not now" in some areas of my life. So what happens when in your spirit you feel a shifting and you have a feeling that the answer may actually be "yes"? What's a girl to do!?

Well this girl did the first unhealthy, negative thing I could think to do--took it off the radar and avoided. I checked emails, talked to people, surfed the social sites, made phone calls, wrote blogs...and didn't do the written prayer in my journal that I knew the Lord was calling for specific to this one issue. What's worse, I didn't even know I was doing it until I looked up and realized that I had been eating it up. Instead of facing the Lord, I was facing a plate or a snack. After such great progress in my journey towards health, I began putting that on the line again all in the name of avoidance.

And yes, fear is tied up in this thing. Truly my fear of failure has risen to the top on multiple occasions but what scares me more (and what was at play here) is about that fear of success. Success and yeses mean expectations and responsibilities. Somewhere along the way, I had managed to convince myself that I could not handle either. Somewhere along the way, I'd allowed the enemy to whisper that LIE into my spirit and it stuck...well until today. Today, I faced that dragon. Today, I looked it squarely in the face (after I ate the last snack bar of course) and said DIE because "Greater is He that is in my than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4) Today I decided to heed the scripture that says to "walk in the Spirit, and don't gratify the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16). Though that verse truly speaks about sin, I think it's applicable to walk in the spirit and not give in to the desire of my flesh to avoid God.

If what I've written here sounds familiar to you too, then bravo in advance for facing and slaying your dragons. You can't slay them though if you avoid them. And if this is not you...well then pray for us. Either way and most importantly...be encouraged to face GOD head on with boldness or with hesitation. He can take it.

Blessings,
Pastor Andrea

Emotional Work In Progress

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

 
I'm struggling to write this...probably because I'm in the middle of it. As much as I hate to admit it, I find myself the middle of trying to let go of negative emotions. Emotion...It's one of the greatest things that remind us of our humanity and challenges us in our need for a redeemer. Over the last couple of weeks, there have been a couple incidences with friends who have offended me. Most times, offenses can roll off my back. But there are times when it's just not that easy. And it's not about the other person. In most cases, when people offend, they do so unintentionally. So the question becomes one of self-preservation and personal spiritual development: What do you do when offense takes over where grace normally resides? How does a Christian respond when anger takes over or when disappointment seeps into the crevices of our souls? 


As I sit in the midst of my offense, I have been truly at war and praying to win this little battle of flesh against spirit. But what God reminded me was that I couldn't do this alone. There are times when you're in a pit so deep that you feel like your prayers can't even reach through to God. So instead of stewing in my mess, I reached out to a friend for prayer who reminded me of David's plea to God for a "clean heart" and a "renewed spirit". Every time my emotions have started to creep back in, I've been fighting with the best weapon I have--God's Word. Lord, in this moment clean my heart and renew my spirit. Lord, in this moment make intercession for me. Lord, in this moment help my anger not to lead me to sin...

It's definitely a work in progress and it's an active process. But what I know is that God is faithful to us in our desire to make spirit the winner over flesh. So I wanted to encourage you in this day that no matter who/what has offended you, in the past or present, make a decision to take action and choose His Spirit over your emotions. Choose life over death and light over darkness. Stand on God's Word and He will renew and clean you if you let Him.

Be encouraged and encourage someone else in this day.
Blessings,
PastorA